About Me

Have you ever turned up the music just to drown out the voices raging in your head? Well, that was me. The quiet terrified me. So I became the life of the party, but the louder I got the more I was crying inside. After years of abuse: Physical, Sexual, and Emotional, one day I decided that I no longer wanted the abuse to define me or continue to affect the choices I made in life. This started a journey going back to the time I was 5. That was the first time I remembered me. As I went through the journey, I started to see the real me. I defined each abuse and how it affected my life. I defined what it stole from me. I grieved for the losses. I learned how to forgive, not for their sake, but for mine. Little by little God shed the damaged me and found Hope. Today I am happy, content, and no longer afraid of the silence.  Are you tired of the noise? Then, let me walk with you on a journey to find who you were created to be.

UPDATE June 27th, 2022

When I started this website 2 1/2 years ago this is how it started. I was guided by a website guru expecting to take my life's story and create a course that would charge a large sum of money to share what I had learned through years of abuse and counseling.  

WELL, ALL THAT HAS CHANGED! It is no longer a website to create a large income by selling something that I did not learn on my own. THE TRUTH IS - All I have learned and all I know is because of the Love, Grace, Mercy, and Forgiveness of the Father through His Only Son Jesus Christ. It is because of His Death, Burial, and Resurrection that I have found Hope Finally, or should I say it is because of His relentless pursuit and protection over me. I can honestly say He knew me way before I knew HIM and He FOUND me, I didn’t find HIM.  

Oh, I knew about who He was suppose to be , but KNOWING HIM for Who HE really IS, that is not what I was raised to believe.  You see I was just a pawn that had to be kept in order to validate my Dad's status. I was the black sheep because I asked "why", not out of rebellion but out of sincerity just wanting to understand. Or saying "no" when I thought something was really wrong. I was the square peg being forced into a round hole. My father had no idea who I was nor did he seem to want to. What he said in the pulpit was far different than at home. His motto was "Do as I say not as I do" and "Children should be seen and not heard". So, I kept my mouth shut and tried to comply even though I was being sexually abuse from the age of 6 by someone in his church.   

So, that is what I thought of "God". Someone who had no idea of who I was or what I was going through, and for that matter didn't even care. A dictator passing out arbitrary rules and consequences for his benefit. I had no idea of the hell my Brother and Sister were going through of their own, but even as a child I saw the results of the torment.  

You may think, "Where was my Mom when all this was going on?" She was in her own hell trying to work for Dad's church as hard as she could. For the LORD yes, because she loved the LORD, but also to get some kind of positive affirmation from my Dad. My Mom never told anyone but her best friend what was going on at home. She did not want to be the cause of my Dad loosing his church. In realty he had no business being the “Pastor “ of a church. She burned both ends of the candle just to get some kindness from my Dad. She was such a kind, selfless, and loving woman. She gave us, her children, the unconditional love she knew from her parents and the LORD. Yet, my Dad was totally blind to her. He loved someone else. So, the lack of love and emotional abused she received from my Dad left her in a constant state of survival. It took a toll on her life emotionally, spiritually, but mostly physically. It may have even been what ended her life so early. I use to ask “How could you leave me when I needed you so desperately?” Some people won’t even entertain that she was hurting so bad that she would even consider committing suicide. But I know the pain, I’ve been there myself. It really doesn’t matter at this point, because in time I realized how strong she was to last as long as she did. One day, we will find out in Heaven and then it really won’t matter at all. I just can’t wait to see the One who died for my sins and to see her face again!